Marriage is like planting a tree. It starts with a seed. The seed of love. Marriage union happens when the seed is united with the ground. It starts to germinate and grow.
For the young plant to establish and thrive it needs a lot of tender loving care. It must be nurtured with complete nutrients and water. It must be protected from pests, diseases and harmful elements.
The tender trunk must be supported with stake and twine.
It’s succulent bark must be protected from stray animals.
Before long the tree starts to shape. It’s green luscious leaves prepare the tree for thick blooms.
This blooming mango tree did not just happen. A lot of precious time, resources, knowledge and skills were poured into it.
But the efforts are all worth it because the reward is a bountiful harvest!
We are fortunate and indeed blessed to have been surrounded with a strong support systems.
This marriage is fostered by our families, God and His Church , friends and the community.
These support systems provide the nutrients, water, protection from pests, diseases and harmful elements so that the tree can grow, thrive and produce plentiful harvest.
Here are 37+ lessons learned from our marriage of 37 years. The list is not comprehensive and I encourage my readers to add to it.
Encourage and allow your spouse to grow.
Choose your fights.
Forgive and forget.
Be generous with praise.
Appreciate not only the big but also the small things.
Don’t take life too seriously. Have fun, lots if it! Laugh, make jokes, be silly.
Cry together.
Don’t embarrass your spouse in front of others. What a shame when someone does that!
Be thoughtful.
Be eager to meet each other’s physical needs.
Defend your spouse.
Don’t fight with your spouse-fight for her/him.
Intimacy is not just physical. It is more so emotional and spiritual.
Know you spouse’s love language and speak it.
Surprise your spouse every now and then.
Housekeeping is not just for the wife.
Love those whom your spouse love e.g. his or her side of the family.
Support your spouse’s cause.
Make it your goal to be an example of a good marriage.
Pray for each other.
Encourage each other.
Honor and respect are due to each other.
Worship together.
Don’t stop dating and courting each other.
Decide who handles the finances. Agree on how money is spent, invested.
Harsh words hurt. Kind words heal.
Feed each other not just with physical food.
No one else knows your spouse better that you do. Explore your spouse and know more about him/her. You’ll be surprised.
Be transparent, honest, open.
Don’t cheat. Cheating is not just physical it could also be emotional.
Play the game: ”Remember when….., ”
Be your spouse’s #1 fan.
Always be there for your spouse.
Speak the truth in love.
Be each other’s cheer leader.
There are times each one need his/her own space and time. ”Me time”
Learn to listen.
Excellent communication is a MUST.
Communication is not always verbal. Learn to decipher his/her facial and body language.
Plan together.
Be a teamwork.
Travel and explore the world.
Celebrate events only two of you know about. e.g. first date.
Create synergy. Harness your strength together.
Create beautiful memories.
myJOURNEY 