“Daddy, you smell good!”Exclaimed my then five-year old daughter Gilary after smelling the freshly splashed cologne on my face. I stooped down to kiss her. Then she placed her tiny palms on my cologne-damp cheeks and chin then rubbed them on her face. “Now we smell the same Daddy,” she said quite proudly as she planted a kiss on my cheek.
Quite literally and figuratively, whether we like it or not, or we are aware or not, we rub our scent and odor to the people close to us especially to our family. What kind of odor or scent do they get from you?
Children learn how to behave by the examples they see in us. Most parents are not aware that their children emulate their every action and reaction, their attitude and behavior. When I observe families with little children, I see their parents in them. (Continue reading pass the photos. You’re just half way through.)
“Ewwe, Lolo you stink!” Exclaimed my four-year old granddaughter Lyla after smelling the slime of tilapia from my hands.
Every now and then my grandchildren surprise me with a visit at my restaurant. On that day after her ballet lessons they dropped by. She ran to me for the usual kiss while my hands were still slimy from scaling and gutting the fish.
That’s when she repelled herself before she could even plant a kiss on my cheek. She smelled foul odor and she didn’t like it on her tutu dress.
Unfortunately, our “behavioral odors” are not sensed by our olfactory system. Children cannot choose what we rub onto them. But “behavioral smell” can be rubbed onto others just as effectively as the pleasant cologne and foul fishy slime. Whether good or bad the behavior we display before our children are smeared unto them. Before long, “they smell” just like us.
A Sad Story
“Let’s go!” Says the angry voice of the mother who literally dragged her daughter’s hands to storm out of the restaurant. “But Mom, I’m hungry. I want to eat.”
The mother was very upset that the food she ordered over the phone wasn’t set on the table when they arrived at the restaurant. My server told them that it’s the restaurant’s policy not to bring out the food until the customers are seated and that we don’t want the food to get cold while waiting for them. That made her even more upset arguing that the very reason why she called was to make sure that their food would be ready when they came. She wasn’t pacified even after the server assured that their food will be served in few minutes.
So, out of the restaurant they went with the poor hungry girl crying and confused.
They were out of the door before I could talk to them and explain.
My heart sank, not because I lost a sale that day, but because I felt pity for the young girl. And I must admit, I was quite angry at what the mother did to her child more than what she did to me…waste our time and food and disrespected us. For me, such an action is tantamount to child abuse!
I felt deeply sorry for the girl who was given a strong dose of bad character teaching. By doing what she did, the mother rubbed onto her daughter some unacceptable behavior: being impatient, unreasonable, unforgiving, disrespect to others, uncontrolled temper and anger.
I wondered how often is the girl exposed to such unhealthy episodes. And if that’s the example her mother always shows, how much of her attitude had been learned by the daughter. I will not be surprised if she becomes just like her. And that’s very sad.
myJOURNEY 