The Love of My Life Pt1

After writing my mother’s love story, some of my readers asked when I would write my own. Well, that’s easy! Let’s move from the 1940s to the 1980s by turning forward the pages of myJOURNEY.

I always believed that I have three callings in life: to be a husband, a father, and a preacher. I became a husband to a wonderful woman, Edita Olivares in January 1984. She is a beauty with a brain, and a good heart. These were my criteria in choosing a lifetime soulmate and she proved to be more than who I was looking for. But before she knew about my feelings for her, I had a huge dilemma. I had to go through some hoops to get to her heart. And so this was how the love story began.

Edita and I attended the same church. I had a special feeling for her but didn’t know how to even begin letting her know, because at the time she was my Sunday school teacher. How in the world can a student ask his Sunday school teacher to go on a date with him? She was  only a year older than me, but far more mature than many of us in the church’s Youth Society.

For a while, I just watched her from a distance–admiring her beauty, grace, charm and exceptional intelligence. Until one day our Pastor, Rev. Fernandez, came to CLSU to visit me. He prayed and gave me words of encouragement, which I really needed at the time. Before he left, he said something that surprised and blew me away!

“If you are looking for a girlfriend, I have a recommendation–Edita. You and her will make a good match.” My mouth opened in disbelief. I wanted to make sure I heard him right so I asked, “Who, Edita? My Sunday school teacher?” Amused, he replied, “Yes, Edita Olivares!” I still couldn’t believe what I heard. “Pastor, are you serious or are you just kidding ?” I asked. “I’m serious, believe me”, he emphatically answered. I looked at him and said, “Actually, Pastor….I….I….I’ve had a crush on her….for a long while already, but I just didn’t know how to approach her.” I sheepishly looked back up at Reverend Fernandez. “I know….. I have caught you many times staring at her”, the pastor said with a big grin on his face. I blushed in embarrassment.

But even with my pastor’s prodding , I still did not have the courage to approach her. So I devised a plan. I told our mutual friends and the pastors’ kids that I had a feelings for her, hoping that she would hear about it. Indeed, she heard about it, but I still harbored a fear of rejection that kept me from doing anything. Until one day, I found myself in a big quandry.

During a Sunday service we had some visitors from Manila. They were from Campus Crusade for Christ organizing local chapters in Cabanatuan college campuses, and Edita invited them to church. They were good looking young men–well dressed and smart. I got very jealous when I saw her sitting with them on the same pew in my church. My mind wandered from church service that day. Is anyone of them Edita’s boyfriend? I hoped my suspicion would prove false.

I blamed myself for not doing anything about my feelings for her. I felt like my turf had been invaded. I could not stand looking at them any longer, so I left the pew and went inside a Sunday school room beating myself for being a slug. No more shyness, no more hiding the feelings, no more delaying. So I wrote a letter pouring my heart and feelings. After church I made sure I handed her what would be my first love letter…my heart beating fast and my hands shaking. As I was handing her the letter, our eyes met. They were the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen…kind, gentle, graceful. That moment was the closest that I had ever seen her. She was even more beautiful close up. “What is this?”, she asked, smiling when I handed her the letter. Her bright eyes, glossy lips and beautiful white teeth made her face glow. “Oh, it’s just a note”, I said, trying my best to hide my nerves. She then proceeded gracefully, leaving the sweet scent of her perfume lingering in her place.

I felt relieved that I finally expressed my feelings, yet quite worried that it had been too late. I wondered how she would react after reading my letter. Would she be mad? Surprised? Would she just laugh at me? Edita knew that I had dated a few girls before. As a matter of fact, I took one of the girls I was seeing at the time to Edita’s Sunday school class during an attendance drive. She rewarded me with a star on the attendance chart for bringing my girlfriend to her Sunday school class. What kind of track record was that for a suitor like me?

And I was not without rivals. Many mothers at church who had sons our age were eyeing Edita to be their son’s wife. I heard them many times admiring her fine qualities. She was indeed a very ideal woman and I wanted her to be my girlfriend. Do I even have a chance?, I wondered. Since then, I was determined to be more courageous and pursue the girl of my dreams. I started to groom myself and put my best foot forward to get Edita’s attention. I decided I had to shed many of my boyish ways and become a grown man as she was a grown woman. This gave me more self confidence and my unfounded fear dissipated.

One Sunday after church, I bravely approached Edita and asked if I could visit her at their home that night. She agreed. By now, many of the church people knew that I was pursuing Edita. The purpose of my visit was not just to talk to her but also to indicate to her parents that I had good intentions. I had to muster all courage to do this because I had never done this before. Gil, you have to act like a real gentleman, I told myself.

She was dressed casually when I visited that night, but she was still stunningly beautiful to me. I extended my hand to shake hers and she willingly obliged. I shook her hand ever so gently and felt her soft silky hand in mine. I had never held such a soft hand before. “Hi Gil, come in. Please sit down, I’ll just get you something to drink.” While she was in the kitchen, I marveled about the soft hand I just touched. Does she do any housework at all? No one can have a soft hand like that if they do laundry, wash dishes, scrub pots and pans, clean the house and all the other chores.

“Heto, magmerienda ka muna.”(Here have some snacks.) She came with a glass of iced Mountain Dew (How did she know that was my favorite pop drink?) and a plate of pancit. After some bites of the pancit, I tasted that it was already going bad and she didn’t know. I ate and finished it anyway downing it with my favorite drink. I didn’t tell her about the pancit because I don’t want to offend her. At first, we talked about plans for the youth group because that was the most comfortable topic to converse about. Then we slowly shifted to other personal things and before we knew it,we were laughing and having fun. It felt so good that I was there talking and so close to the girl of my dreams. Then, I felt the freedom to interject about the Campus Crusade boys. “Oh, I don’t really know anyone of them. They just want my support in organizing local chapter of the CCC.” Upon hearing that, a heavy burden instantly lifted from my chest. No more worries Gil. She’s not committed to anyone yet. I wanted to celebrate! So I asked, “Can I have another glass of Mountain Dew please?” As she disappeared into the kitchen, I raised my fist and excitedly whispered to myself,  “Yes!”

I didn’t want that night to end but it was getting late. Like a gentleman, I said good night and goodbye before midnight. I decided to just walk instead of getting a tricycle ride. Walking home, I felt like I was on cloud nine. I was hopeful–almost victorious! I liked the way she welcomed me and spent time with me.

The next day, I went back to CLSU with renewed enthusiasm for my school work. Somehow, she inspired me in a very special way. You better do good in your studies, I challenged myself. Edita was an excellent student. She was one of the few recipients of a coveted full government scholarship. She related to me how she got a very high and winning score in the state scholarship test. In one section of the test, they were to fill in the blank of poems written by famous authors like Edgar Allan Poe. She was able to supply the missing words because she remembered them. Working as a student assistant at Araullo library, she happened to thumb through poetry and mentally scanned some of them. She was gifted with photographic memory. She really was a smart cookie and that was one of the many qualities that made her very attractive to me. She was even about to finish her civil engineering degree at Central Luzon Polytechnic College, a feat few women had accomplished at the time.

After attending my morning classes, I went back to my dorm to have lunch. That’s when I heard a knock at my door. When I opened the door I was very surprised to see Edita and her friend Dolores. After letting them in, Edita who seemed very distraught asked me, “Gil, how are you doing? Are you okay? I mean aren’t you sick?” Her questions confused me. “Sick? No, I’m not. I’m perfectly okay! Why?” Edita explained, “Well, remember the pancit I gave you last night? My mother said it was already spoiled when I served it to you. I’m so sorry, I didn’t even check. So we came here to check on you.” I assured them that I was okay. I felt how relieved she was knowing that I wasn’t ill. I then offered to give them a tour of CLSU the rest of the day. I took them to a leisurely walk to Little Baguio and told them the story of how I prepared my speech there for the national oratorical contest in Cebu.

While sitting under the gazebo, her friend Dolores thought that she should leave us alone. She said. “O kayong dalawa, dito muna kayo, maglalakad- lakad lang ako.” (Hey you guys, you just stay here while I take a walk around the park.) She gave us Juicy Fruit gum sticks before she left. “Here Gil, Take it easy, have a juicy.”  She said with a mischievous grin.

I opened the gum and collected the foil packaging on which I wrote love notes. I showed them to Edita. One note read: “I love Edita”and the other one said “..and I will marry her someday.” She was visibly tickled by what I wrote and gave me a pinch on the side of my abdomen as sweet Filipina girls do. I thought I knew what that meant and I was very happy. Then I took a more serious tone. I gazed her in the eyes and said: “I really mean it and I hope one day you will feel the same toward me.” I folded the love notes and I inserted them between the thatched roof of the gazebo while saying, “These are silent records of my love for you. One day this dream will come true.” I intentionally did not demand a verbal response. I knew that she liked me too, and that was enough for me at that moment. In my heart I knew that it was premature to make any commitment. I wanted the courtship to develop further. I wanted this to be set apart from the other experiences I had. I wished for her to fall in love with me by knowing me more.

Walking back to the dorm, we passed by a thick vine of a plant named cadena de amor–cord of love. I picked a bouquet of the luscious pink blossoms and gave them to Edita. She took the flowers and held them like holding a wedding bouquet. I saw my beautiful future bride whom I would tie a real cord of love with one day!

 Next issue: One of a Kind Wedding. Stay tuned!